


Hot Love

by etherealabyss



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bottom Sirius Black, Bromance, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, M/M, Mentions of alcoholism, Peter is a bitch, Remus is a musician, Scars, They all live, Top Remus Lupin, explicit - Freeform, fun chats, i hate Peter, lily is a legend, mentions of child abuse, roommate au, sirius is sceptical but falls for remus immediately, they all vibe, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:41:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28812090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etherealabyss/pseuds/etherealabyss
Summary: With Peter, the rude and inappropriate roommate finally having moved out, a room in their shared flat became vacant. The four friends put out ads and hoped for the best. Turned out, the best would be a blonde, curly-haired guitarist from Glasgow who Sirius really, wholeheartedly, swear to god, 100% didn't crush on.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 147
Collections: my wolfstar collection





	1. Innuendo

**Author's Note:**

> it's me again, how have y'all been? my friend inspired me to write this and even though i'm supposed to study for my exams, i'd rather write this fanfic. i hope u guys like it as much as i did writing it. i'd love to hear your feedback so feel free to comment!

“You can be anything you want to be”, Alice sang as she mixed the pancake batter in their shared kitchen on a beautiful November morning. It was her and Sirius’ turn to make breakfast and the both of them didn’t want to disappoint their friends.

Six tablespoons of melted butter seem a lot, she thought to herself as she added the ingredients to the large metal bowl in front of her. She looked tiny in comparison to it. “Just turn yourself into anything you think that you could ever be”, Sirius shouted as loudly as he could so that it sounded as if he was the singer of Queen instead of Freddie Mercury.

The speaker from which the music was coming from was James’ and it took them 10 minutes to steal it from his room without waking up the couple (Lily was a very light sleeper and the two of them really didn’t want to get lectured about taking James’ things without his knowledge in the early morning). As Sirius put on his apron and his hair in a bun, Alice approached him and gave him a peck on his cheek. “Be free with your tempo be free be free - Surrender your ego be free be free to yourself!”, they sang in unison and began to play air-guitar to Brian May’s solo as if they were on stage with him.

“That’s a lot of batter”, Sirius said cockily as he walked past the counter on which the bowl was put on and grabbed eggs and bacon from the fridge.

“Yes, I am aware of that, dumbass, don’t forget that James eats enough for four people so we have to double things”, Alice answered and Sirius could swear that he could feel her eye roll in his veins.

“Do you reckon I should make a fruit salad? We have a lot of fruits we haven’t even touched yet”, Sirius asked and stared at the melon and the oranges that were hidden behind a dozen beer bottles.

“Sure! Just make sure not to put any alcohol in it or we all might puke”, the girl laughed as she took two eggs from the carton Sirius had taken out earlier and added them to her mixture.

“What makes you think I’d do that?”, he grinned and gathered all the fruits he could find before he carried them to the spot on the counter that wasn’t covered with dishes. Was it his turn to do them yesterday? He couldn’t remember. He was so busy dancing to Abba and getting shitfaced with Lily that the dirty plates were none of his concerns.

“Sirius Black, you really think I don’t know what your mimosas taste like? Please, for the life of me, don’t make a fruit salad mimosa – just the thought of it makes my stomach turn”, Alice sighed and watched her friend cut the melon in half to scoop out the seeds. He was wearing the tiniest booty shorts he could have found and a large Thin Lizzy shirt that must have been at least as old as he was.

“Be careful or you’ll cut yourself”, she mumbled and carried the bowl to the stove. Alice made sure to preheat the pan a little so that it wouldn’t take them long to cook the pancakes.

“Alright, fuck, marry, kill: Chris Hemsworth, Jason Momoa, Chris Evans”, Sirius exclaimed once he finished cutting up the fruit and put the variety of colourful squares in a glass bowl.

“That’s a hard one”, Alice began as she started frying the batter.

“Come on, don’t think about it! Just let it out!”, the black-haired man laughed as he stood next to his friend to fry the eggs and bacon stripes.

“Fuck Jason Momoa, marry Chris Evans, kill Chris Hemsworth – but if Chris Hemsworth’s wife would be up for consideration, Chris Evans would get the chop”, Alice answered and looked to him. “Now you”

“Easy. Fuck Jason Momoa, marry Chris Hemsworth, kill Chris Evans, especially when he’s clean-shaven”, Sirius answered quickly and yawned.

“David Bowie, Marc Bolan, Andy Gibb”, Alice requested just before he finished up the last pancake. Even though twenty pancakes sounded a lot for five people, she knew that it would be barely enough, considering James’ hunger after a night of drinking.

“You can’t say those names and expect me to kill one of them! I’d rather kill myself than any of them”, Sirius sighed and rubbed his eyes. The hot oil in front of him wasn’t helping him make a decision.

“Fuck Marc, marry ... David, kill Andy – but Andy was really cute”, he groaned and looked at Alice in despair.

“I love the Gibb family too much to let him die, for me it’d be Fuck David, marry Andy and kill Marc”, Alice shrugged and turned off the stove. Sirius gasped dramatically and leaned back, acting as if she had just shot him right through the heart.

“Oh, my Marc, I’m coming”, he sang and reached up in the air, waiting for Marc Bolan to take his hand and take him with him.

“Don’t be such a drama queen and help me with the glasses”, the shorter woman said without having looked at Sirius as she put the cutlery next to the plates. The two of them arranged the food beautifully and gave each other a high five.

Alice ordered Sirius to fetch the others while she got the coffee and the orange juice. It didn’t take Sirius long before he knocked on everyone’s door just to not wait for a response and tell everyone to come to breakfast. Peter was on his phone and scoffed at Sirius, who in response blew him a kiss before he went on to James’ room.

“Morning, lovebi – oh, fuck, Judas Priest, put a sock on your doorknob next time!”, he shouted while covering his eyes with his hand. He couldn’t see everything that was going on, but he was sure he just interrupted a blowjob. “Breakfast – hurry up or it’ll be cold”, Sirius shouted as he had already exited the room and made his way back to the dining table.

To his surprise, Peter had decided to actually join them for once. He usually just stayed in his room, which they didn’t mind because whenever he decided to come out and show himself, he argued with everyone and made everyone feel like shit. The four of them talked about kicking him out multiple times a week but couldn’t just say “hey you brat you’re annoying fuck off” so it was just a matter of time until he did something for them to actually get rid of him. When he called Sirius about the ad they put out, he couldn’t have known how much of an asshole the economics student actually was until he moved in, and then it was too late for them to say no.

“Top of the morning to ya, Pete”, Sirius sang while he sat down in front of the grumpy-looking man and reached for the coffee.

“Fuck off, Sirius”, Peter hissed as he put some of the fruit salad on his plate.

“That’s no way to talk to the person who made you breakfast”, the black-haired man answered and took a sip of his coffee. It was steaming hot and black, just how he liked it. Peter shrugged and started eating without waiting for the others. Sirius shot Alice a glance but focused his energy on the headache he had been ignoring all entire morning.

“Good morning”, Lily yawned and hugged Alice as the couple came to breakfast. They looked as done as Sirius felt but he knew better than to mention it.

“Handsome as ever”, Sirius laughed and moved a bit to the left so that his best friend could sit on the bench next to him. “

You know it”, James replied with a tired smile on his face. His eyes then wandered to the large number of pancakes stacked on top of each other and everyone in the room could hear his stomach rumble. Once they all were seated, they began to eat and enjoyed David Bowie’s Aladdin Sane that Sirius had put on playing in the background quietly.

“The food is delicious, you two! Well done!”, Lily smiled and rubbed Alice’s back in appreciation.

“Thank you, it was fun to make. We jammed and played fuck marry kill”, Alice answered and took a bite of her pancake. James had already eaten three in the meantime.

“It could be better”, Peter said shook his head. “The pancakes taste like shit”, he added.

“Can’t you shut the fuck up for once?”, James blurted out and banged his fists on the table.

“That’s rich coming from you who fucked his whore of a girlfriend loud enough for all of us to hear”, Peter grinned and was going to take a bite of his scrambled eggs before Lily slapped him across the face.

“That was the final fucking straw – get the fuck out of our home, you have until the end of the day before I throw your belongings out of the fucking window!”, Lily screamed and was getting ready to throw another punch. Alice stopped her just in time by holding her hand mid-throw.

“He’s not worth it, darling”, she said calmly and sat Lily back down.

“You are all such assholes, I’m leaving!”, Peter screamed and stormed out of the room.

The four of them stared at each other until they heard him slam the door and started laughing.

“So this is what it took for us to kick him out”, Sirius laughed and leaned back. Lily had calmed down by now and chuckled quietly. "

And for the record, we all know that I'm not a whore", Lily sighed and shook her head. They all nodded. She didn't have to declare that, but Sirius figured that it was important to her so he kept his thoughts to himself.

“Well, at least he’ll be gone. What are we going to do about the empty room, though?”, Alice asked, stuffing her mouth with the little fruit squares that were left.

“Easy; I’ll design a poster we’ll put up and then we’ll interview the people who want to move in. This time around we won’t just take the first person who runs along”, James stated and stretched his arms out.

...

“Well, breakfast tasted amazing. Thank you, guys”, Sirius heard James say as he was scrolling on Instagram. He was currently checking out his cousins Bellatrix’s account and laughed at all of her wanna-be artsy and poetic posts. Oh, much he loathed her. “You’re very welcome”, the two of them answered gratefully.

“James and I will clean up – you two put on the latest Bake Off episode, we’ll be with you in a minute!”, Lily announced and sent the two cooks to the living room.

Sirius and Alice got comfortable on their big, spacey couch and turned on the tv. The flat they lived in was very big – lucky for them James was loaded so it was affordable for them.

“When was the last time Peter paid rent, you reckon?”, Alice asked as she turned her head to Sirius and crossed her legs.

“Two, three months ago, I think. He told me that he was struggling a bit, so I covered for him. Why’d you ask?”, Sirius raised his eyebrow before he realised what she was getting at.

“You know that he just bought the PS5 and the new apple headphones, right?”, Alice mentioned and watched Sirius’ face turn red. “I will MURDER him!”, Sirius yelled and shot up from the couch. That bitch had been practically stealing his money!

“You fucking bastard! You’ve taken my fucking money!”, Sirius shouted as he burst into Peter’s room.

“I wanted to see how long it’d take you to realise it”, Peter laughed as he put his clothes into his suitcase. He didn’t have many belongings, so the room was almost empty already. All that was left was his PS5, his Bluetooth speaker and a couple of books that would fit in his backpack.

While Peter smiled at Sirius innocently, the black-haired man came to a conclusion.

“You owe me about 500 quid, are you aware of that?”, he asked calmly.

“Yeah, but you won’t get those back. I’m no idiot”, was the response he got.

If manslaughter wasn’t illegal, Peter wouldn’t have survived that conversation.

By moving quickly, Sirius grabbed the console and sprinted out of the room. “That’s for using me, you swine”, he shouted and hid it in the back of his closet before he locked the door behind him.

“YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN AN ABORTION! YOUR FAMILY WAS RIGHT ABOUT YOU; YOU WHIMPY BITCH!”, Peter shouted and slammed his fists against Sirius’ door.

“That’s it – fuck off, get the FUCK out of my home!”, James shouted and seconds after Peter turned around to face the man, he watched James throw his suitcase down the stairs.

“Oh, I forgot your books and speaker, I’m sorry”, he smiled and tossed those out of the door as well.

“YOU GUYS WILL GO TO HELL FOR THIS”, Peter screamed, ran past James and slammed the door behind him. James locked it immediately and let out a loud sigh.

“He’s gone Pads, you can come out now”, James laughed and rubbed his face. He didn’t think his Sunday would be as eventful as it had turned out to be. Sirius trotted out of his room and swung his arms around James.

“I took his PS5 – FIFA nights will be other-worldly from now on”, he grinned and received a roaring laugh from his best friend.

...

The four of them had spent the entire afternoon on the couch, rewatching their favourite episodes of Bake Off while they slept their hangover away.

“I’ll say it once and I’ll say it again-“, Sirius started as he was munching on the cookies he found in the pantry.

“Noel Fielding is the best-looking Bake Off judge. We know, you say that every single time”, Lily sighed and looked over to Sirius.

“He’s old enough to be your dad, mate”, James chuckled and snuggled Lily, resting his head on her chest.

“Age is just a number once it’s legal”, Alice shrugged and nicked one of Sirius’ cookies.

“At least one supporter. I knew that I could trust you”, Sirius yawned and closed his eyes again. He was grateful that he wouldn’t have any lectures on Monday. He loved history and art and was grateful that he could go to Uni, but he was so tired that nothing could be interesting enough for him to get up before 11.

...

“Pads, wake up, I want to show you something”, he heard somebody say. It took him about 10 seconds before he could open his eyes. They went to bed at midnight and Sirius swore that he had never slept as well as he did that night. Usually, his nightmares would keep him awake.

“What the fuck do you want”, Sirius mumbled and rubbed his eyes. It was far too early for anyone to need something from him.

“It’s one pm, mate”, James grinned and threw himself onto his friend.

“I made the poster for the advertisement”, he announced and looked over his shoulder to see if his friend was paying attention.

“Well?”, Sirius yawned and stared back. If it weren’t for James, he’d fall asleep again.

Sirius took James’ phone and inspected the ad for a minute. It was cute and screamed James.

“I like it. Especially the emojis”, Sirius chuckled and sat up, handing the phone back.

“Great, Alice and I are about to go for a run and we’ll put the ad out – I’ll post it in Insta, too”, James explained and got off the bed.

“Good idea. Is there any coffee left?”, the sleepy man asked and put on the first shirt he found before he got up.

“Lily just brewed some for you, I think”, his friend replied and watched Sirius lighten up at his words. “Today will be a good day”

...

Minutes later, Sirius was sitting at their small kitchen table and played Sims 4 on his laptop when Lily decided to join him with a large book.

“Hey Siri”, she smiled and put down the thick version of “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman which she got as a Christmas gift from him last year. Sirius got up to give her a kiss on the cheek as a greeting before he sat back down.

“I’ll put on the kettle, you feel like having tea?”, Lily asked as she walked into the kitchen. “Yes, please”, he shouted so she could hear him.

Once Lily was back with their mugs, she put them on the table and sat down on the comfortable armchair they had just bought.

“Black tea with a drop of milk and four teaspoons of sugar, just how you like it”, she mentioned before she opened her book and began to read.

“You’re the best, have I already told you that?”, Sirius said as he inhaled the smell of the tea.

“Oh, only every other day. But I appreciate it nonetheless”, Lily chuckled and looked over to see what Sirius had been doing.

“What characters have you been making lately?”, she asked him and took a sip of her beverage.

“Well, I made all of us, and I’m currently trying to get you to fall in love with James, but you aren’t doing what I’m telling you to”, Sirius answered calmly and turned his laptop so that she could see.

“Oh, that’s kinda cute! You’re not as jacked as your character is, though”, she laughed and saw Sirius roll his eyes.

“Don’t get me wrong, you’re really fit, but you don’t look like Henry Cavill”, she added just before Sirius moved the laptop back into its original position.

“Well, in my Sims reality, I can be as jacked as I want”, he laughed and took a bite of the stale bread he had been eating. He had forgotten to eat breakfast and knew that dinner wouldn’t be for another few hours so he took what he could find.

...

A couple of days had passed since they put the ads up and Sirius was enjoying not having Peter around. Nobody was there to complain about his music, his clothing and his monologues about how 1975 David Bowie could “get it”. To be honest, he actually didn’t mind it just being the four of them at all. Maybe they should have just turned the spare room into a study, he thought to himself as he was doing the laundry while listening to Mambo Sun. Oh, how he loved T. Rex.

“Guys, we’re back, and we brought Asian food!”, Lily shouted as they put down their shopping bags. The couple had spent the afternoon strolling through malls and buying whatever they felt like because they hadn’t been shopping in ages and felt like they deserved it. It was also their turn for dinner, so they killed two birds with one stone by getting take-out. Only a few minutes later the four of them sat at their dinner table and had a lively chat about the latest Love Island season when James’ phone rang.

_“Hello? James Potter here”_

**“Uh – hi, my name is Remus Lupin, my friend sent me your post about looking for a roommate. Is that still happening?”**

_“Absolutely! Are you free in the next couple of days? We’d love to show you around!”_

**“That would be really nice! Would Tuesday be good with you?”**

_“Tuesday’s great. 5 pm?”_

**“Will be there!”**

_“Great. Are you a serial killer?”_

**"Not yet, as far as I'm concerned, I'm a musician, though, so you choose which you prefer"**

_"Good answer. Have a great evening, Remus!"_

**"You too, James! Bye!"**

“Who was that?”, Sirius asked just before he stuffed his mouth with the noodles.

“A bloke called Remus Lupin who saw my Insta post. Told you guys it was a great idea to put it online too”, James grinned proudly and nudged Lily’s side.

“Did he have a nice voice?”

“Why would that be important?”

“I don’t want to have to listen to a guy with a shit voice”

“It was very nice. In fact, it was so sexy that you will get a boner instantly when you hear it, Pads”, James laughed and shook his head. “He sounded like a nice guy. Give him the benefit of the doubt, I’m sure he’ll be nice”, the man with the glasses added and focused on his food again.

Sirius wasn’t sure about that.


	2. China Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus showed up at their flat to check it out and befriended the residents immediately, though Sirius wouldn't come around as easily as the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter two of three! here we go y'all! i've been loving the process of writing this. just a little teaser: the next chapter will be longer and nsfw. that being said, i hope you'll like this one! see you soon! don't forget to write your thoughts in the comments <3

“Alice, could you give me a hand with this?”, James shouted from the living room as he was wiping off the dust from the back of the tv. Earlier that day Lily decided that they should clean up the place so that when Remus would arrive the next day, he wouldn’t see the bags of crisps lying around, the undone dishes sitting in the kitchen and the hair-clogged drain in the shower. 

Sirius was currently hoovering the flat with his big headphones sitting on top of his head when he began to dance to David Bowie’s China Girl. His hips swayed to the beat while he was guiding the plastic cleaning machine through their apartment, making sure to get the dust out of every corner as he began to sing along to the artist.

“I stumble into town, just like a sacred cow, visions of swastikas in my head, plans for everyone - It's in the white of my eyes!”, Sirius sang, feeling his chest vibrate because of the volume at which he was singing. 

He didn’t hear Lily come in so when he saw her in the corner of his eye, he was so startled that he jumped and screamed in surprise. Sirius wasn’t expecting to get interrupted mid-concert.

“Sorry love, didn’t mean to scare you, I was just getting James’ dirty laundry”, Lily laughed and pat him on the back as she walked past him.

“S’ okay”, he sighed, taking a few seconds to calm down. In his head, he was on stage with his mate David and was currently singing the lyrics in harmony before Lily brought him back to reality. 

Once he was finished with his duty, he wandered into the empty room that soon might become occupied. The view from the window was amazing. How was it that Sirius’ window just faced the busy streets while that room gave you an amazing overview of the park that was right next to their apartment building? How did he not think about that when they moved in?

When James and Sirius started talking about moving in together at the age of 12 in their small, shared bedroom at the boarding school they attended, they didn’t expect James to find the love of his life just two years later. Lily wasn’t interested at first because of how very upfront James was about his crush but ended up falling for him not long after. As if it was meant to be, Lily and Sirius got along like they were twins who were separated at birth and just got reintroduced. The three of them became so inseparable that they even showed up to the other’s classes, no matter if they liked the subjects or not. 

Sirius met Alice at a run-down petrol station a year after they graduated high school. She was getting five bottles of wine for herself and her partner and Sirius couldn’t stop himself but laugh.

“You’re gonna have a fun evening, eh?”, he grinned as he put his own bottles of beers on the counter next to her purchases. Lily and James were out of town for the weekend so Sirius saw no reason not to watch all of his guilty pleasure movies in the living room in one sitting whilst getting shit-faced.

“I will, definitely - my boyfriend and I are gonna watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show and get drunk”, Alice laughed and put the bottles in her backpack.

“Oh shit! That’s my favourite movie!”, Sirius smiled and followed her movements. Lucky for him, his backpack was almost empty, except for his keys and wallet.

“Wanna join us? I’m Alice, by the way”, she suggested as the two of them exited the little store.

I’m Sirius, and ... I mean I’d love to, but I’m not sure if your boyfriend would like that”, Sirius answered and rubbed the back of his neck. He didn’t have anything better to do but didn’t want to interrupt their quality time.

“I promise he won’t mind as long as you can sing along to Frank’s lines because we sing Brad and Janet’s parts”, she shrugged and gave him a kind smile. Sirius had never been approached like this but really wanted to see what might happen.

“I already love you, holy shit”, he laughed and took out a fag and offered one to her. She took it happily and raised her eyebrow at him.

“Is that a yes?”, Alice questioned him as she fumbled with the sleeves of her shirt. “A big one, that is”, Sirius answered and grinned. For some reason, he felt really comfortable around her. 

“Alright, we’ll have to catch the 24 in five minutes, then”, the girl informed him just before she took the final drag of her cigarette and threw the bud to the ground. Sirius chuckled at her statement and walked up to his Harley that he had parked just next to the shop. He hadn’t used public transport in about two years, and he was not going to start now. Also, it took him longer than he would like to admit saving enough money to afford it so he had to make use of his beloved machine.

“Or we can just ride my bike and save a lot of time”, the black-haired man suggested and laughed at the surprise written all over her face. “Yeah, s’pose we could do that”

They ended up watching the movie twice and cried at the end both times. Frank, Alice’s boyfriend, turned out to be just as lovely as Alice was and the three of them spent the entire evening telling each other embarrassing stories, singing along to music, and showing each other horrible memes. As one could imagine, Sirius and Alice became great friends instantly.

When they turned 20, Lily, James, and Sirius finally found a flat they’d love to move into. The only problem was that two rooms weren’t occupied, and they were too nice to turn them into a game room or storage. As Sirius was walking through the flat, complained about their little problem and showed Alice their new home on facetime, she just casually suggested that she could just move in with them. Before he knew it, the four of them had a proper chat about it and only days later she already had most of her things in the room next to his. Frank, her boyfriend, lived with his friends and Alice apparently didn’t like the space enough to stay there. Frank visited often but that didn’t stop Alice from loving the privacy she had just gained. 

“I think we’re all done!”, Sirius heard James tell Lily as he was exiting the room to join his friends. Tomorrow around the same time Remus would be at theirs to check out their fat. The more Sirius thought about it, the less he liked the idea of another person joining them.

“Well done, everybody. As a treat, I’ll make some food - I’m starving!”, Alice announced while she was already standing in the kitchen and rummaged through the fridge to find anything.

“WE LOVE YOU!”, Sirius shouted from the living room so that she could hear him. James followed him suit and let himself fall onto the free space of the couch as Sirius turned on the tv so the two of them could play a couple of rounds of FIFA. She’s a real angel, isn’t she?”, James mentioned as they chose the teams and got a “You could say that, yeah” as an answer. 

The rest of the day was rather uneventful. The sandwiches were great and in the evening they had leftovers. Lily told them about her shit professor who kept her up at night with his confusing questions and Alice gave them all the gossip about Frank’s family. Sirius loved their little family. It meant the world to him. Growing up in the abusive Black household, he never knew love until he met the nerdy boy with the thick-rimmed glasses in his English class. 

Sirius spent the entire morning of the next day studying for his next lecture. He was supposed to talk about Dalì, his works, and his connection to fascism but Sirius couldn’t find the motivation to put the information he had gathered in one big word document. The New York Dolls’ self-titled album was playing in the background while he was walking in circles. He had already watched the Robert Pattinson movie “Little Ashes” twice and read all of the articles he could find on the first page of Google before he let himself fall on his bed. Art can be so exhausting, he thought to himself as he took out his phone and scrolled through Instagram. He glanced up at the corner of his mobile device to check the time.

Three more hours until Remus Lupin would arrive at their flat. Sirius scrolled through his endless feed but couldn’t concentrate on any of the posts he saw. Would it hurt to check out the guy’s Instagram page? He didn’t think so. So, he did it. Sirius typed “Remus Lupin” into the search bar and chuckled at the username. “@barkatthemoon”, Sirius read and grinned. Was the guy aware that his name meant Wolf Wolf? He figured. Was his Instagram username an Ozzy Osbourne reference? He hoped. It would be embarrassing if it wasn’t, the art and history student thought to himself as he stalked the other man’s account. It consisted of selfies, beautiful photographs of Scotland’s scenery and pictures of artists he liked. Sirius recognised almost all of them. He actually liked almost all of them, too. “No, that’s not happening”, he yawned and locked his phone before he stretched his entire body. It felt amazing to just lie there and not work. 

“Pads, you done soon? Ronaldo and I are waiting!”, Sirius heard James shout from the other side of the flat. He deserved this break. Just before he left the room, he changed into a casual pair of black sweats and a T. Rex crop top Lily made him for his 19th birthday. Next to his bike, it was his most beloved possession.

“Coming!”, Sirius shouted and jogged to his friends. Alice sat on the windowsill, holding her huge mug that was filled to the brim with steaming hot tea and watched people pass by their apartment building.

“Some people walk so fast, I bet they don’t even notice the beautiful flowers next to the entrance”, she sighed and shook her head.

“I don’t really notice them whenever I get home, I think”, James shrugged and changed the settings so that the two friends could play a round. Sirius thought about it for a second and came to the same conclusion.

“Don’t really notice them either”. “Philistines”, Alice said mockingly and focused her attention back to the people on the outside of the building.

...

“Guys!”, Lily shouted joyfully as the for of them heard the doorbell ring. Alice jumped off the couch and quickly put on the first Queen record she could find.

“I’m so excited! And he’s even on time! I like him already!”, she giggled and danced her way to their front door. James and Sirius followed her shortly after and walked to where the two of them were standing lazily. Lily opened the door once she heard the elevator doors open on the other side of their entrance and greeted the man with a wide smile. 

Sirius couldn’t believe his eyes.

A very tall, blonde, curly-haired man with piercing brown eyes, a gorgeous stubble, freckles, plump lips and a scar across his face stood right in front of them. His Insta posts really didn’t do his beauty any justice.

“Stop staring, Pads”, James whispered as Remus walked up to them and stuck his hand out to greet the residents. Lily shook it firmly and introduced herself. “My name is Lily, nice to meet you”, she smiled and put a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“I’m Alice!”, the other woman said quickly and gave Remus a tight hug. Remus seemed a bit startled but returned it appreciatively.

“I’m James, the one you spoke to!”, James waved from the back and leaned against the door frame. While they were all saying their hello’s, he continued to check the guy out. He was wearing a green sweater and brown corduroy trousers which he cuffed so his high-top converse could be seen properly. What a show-off.

“Pads, don’t be rude”, James hissed and pushed him gently so that he would get a grip.

"And you are Sirius, I assume?", the blonde asked and stuck his hand out for Sirius to shake.

"Yeah, how'd you know?", Sirius frowned. The other man's hand was large and rough in comparison to his. His fingers were cold and Sirius really wanted to hold them for a few more seconds to warm them up, but he knew that he needed to let it go, so he did.

“At the bottom of the ad it said something along the lines of ‘kisses, Lily, James, Alice and Sirius’ so I figured”, Remus answered with a warm smile on his face and watched Sirius nod and turn around, trying to hide his rosy cheeks.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all, really”, he added and put his hands in his front pockets.

Lily guided him into the living room and began the tour. Remus seemed genuinely interested in everything she had to say and answered so extensively that they had no problem keeping the conversation flowing. He gasped when they entered the empty room.

“It’s not much, but it can quickly be turned into home”, she said as they stood in the middle of the room.

“This is not much to you? I currently share a room with three other people - this is like a penthouse suite in comparison!”, Remus laughed and put his bag down.

“And the view! You guys really weren’t lying!”, he smiled happily just before he opened the large window and leaned out of it. The cold air sent shivers down his body just before the sun could warm the tip of his nose. 

Sirius walked past the room and eavesdropped on their conversation. It wasn’t that interesting, but Sirius couldn’t keep his eyes off him once he glanced through the gap between the door and the doorframe. The way the guy's hand rested on his waist made him shiver. He couldn’t figure out why. 

“By the way, you guys are really lucky to have such beautiful flower arrangements just standing around in front of the house”, Remus said as the two of them entered the living room to join the others again.

“See? I knew others would notice! I like you, Remus”, Alice shouted happily and punched Sirius’ shoulder. 

“Will you stay for dinner, Remus?”, Lily asked as she handed him a glass of water. He hadn’t asked for it, but Lily’s instincts told her that he needed some refreshments.

“I don’t want to be any worry”, he said coyly and looked around the room to admire the beautiful decor they had put up. The flat was very colourful and homely.

“You won’t, I can assure you that, mate. So, what are we having? Chinese or Thai?”, James suggested and looked around the room to see what the others would go for. After discussing the menus, they decided to go with Thai. 

“Mate, you haven’t told us where you’re from yet!”, James exclaimed as they all sat down at the dinner table and unpacked their food.

“Well, there’s not much to say. I was born in Glasgow and moved to Greenock with my parents once I turned 3, I think”, Remus answered and took his beanie off. Sirius couldn’t believe his eyes once more. His full head of curly hair made his mouth water.

“You close to your family?”, Alice asked while she was handing everyone chopsticks.

“No, not really. Moved to London when I was 17 ‘cos I couldn’t stand being home anymore and only ever go back for the holidays. My mum’s lovely, though – you guys would like her”, he chuckled and took his glass in his hand. 

“You said you were a musician, right? Which instruments do you play?”, Sirius asked and smiled, leaning forward while was bit his lip. He sat in front of the other man and felt their feet bumping against each other every few minutes.

“Mostly bass and drums – but don’t worry, I have an electrical drum set so I won’t bring my proper one with me”, Remus laughed and took out his phone to show them pictures of his instruments.

“She’s a Gibson EB-3”, he explained as he handed his phone to Sirius. It took him a lot not to just airdrop the picture so he could have it on his phone, too. In front of him was a photograph of Remus on stage, shirtless, covered in sweat, playing the bass and singing along to the music.

“Didn’t think you’d be a short-scale type of guy”, Sirius grinned as he handed the phone to the others so they could see. Alice and Lily immediately began to talk about its shape and how it looked similar to the ones they saw on their live concert DVDs.

“Well, see it as a kind of compensation – you know, not everything about me can be big", Remus whispered with confidence in his voice and winked at Sirius. Sirius almost choked on his Pad Thai.

“There’s only one way to find out about that, eh?”, Sirius answered after taking a big gulp of his beer and trying his best not to imagine the other being completely naked in front of him.

“You guys have been nothing but kind to me and I really have to say that I like this apartment”, Remus said while they were all munching on their food. As usual, Sirius put on a random album he fancied that day but unlike every other day, he was quiet. He had spent so much time studying the other man, checking out his scars, his nose, his curly hair and his delicious looki- his neck that he forgot to join their conversation. Sirius was curious as to what kissing that neck must've felt like. 

“We’re more than just thrilled to hear that you like it - the last person to have stayed in that room was a big dickhead so I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we’d love to have you”, James said as they finished their meal and put the dishes away.

“Thank you, really”, Remus replied and was it just him or did Sirius see the other man’s cheek turn a slightly warmer shade of pink? 

“I’d love to move in, really - as I said, my current place is a pile of shite, so this would be most insane upgrade in the history of upgrades”, the blonde replied and laughed before he finished his drink.

“Guys, I gotta run, I’ve got practice soon, but I’ll call you tomorrow James, eh? It has been an absolute delight to spend the evening with you guys”, he said quickly before saying goodbye to each and every one of them individually.

“Sounds good, Remus! Have fun with the band!”, James shouted as the blonde entered the elevator to leave. Before the elevator took him down, Sirius and Remus exchanged a quick smile. The blonde’s eyes staring right through his soul made his body tense. 

“So, how’d you guys like him?”, Lily asked as they got in their usual positions on the couch.

“He seemed really lovely, and he was really cute, too”, Alice yawned and pulled out the bag of crisps she hid behind one of the cushions. Sirius then proceeded to grab a handful of the fried potato slices and ate them as he shrugged.

“He was alright, I guess”, he answered with a monotone voice and received 3 disbelieving stairs.

“You were eye-fucking him all evening! And he’s 150% your type! Don’t think we didn’t notice”, James laughed and shook his head.

“We’re not as dumb as we look”, he added and stuck out his hand so Alice would give him some crisps too. 

Just because he was cute didn’t mean that Sirius had to automatically like the guy. 

...

A week had passed when Sirius found himself laying on Alice’s bed while she was experimenting with makeup on his face. Remus had begun to move his things into the apartment and filled up the empty space that once was Peter’s.

“I don’t know, Ali, what if he’s just here to wreak havoc and fuck with us?”, Sirius sighed as Alice applied the purple pigment on his eyelids.

“For the 50th time, he won’t – he’s a lovely guy and you just need to warm up to him”, Alice answered calmly and nodded.

“You can’t tell me that you don’t like the way he looks, at least”, she added and leaned closer so she could see what she was doing better.

“I mean, he’s really fit – his hair is gorgeous, too, who would’ve known that someone like him could come out of Scotland?”, Sirius laughed and looked up to his friend. He hadn’t told her about their flirting at the dinner table when Remus came around to check out the flat. He wasn’t planning on doing so, either. 

Once Alice was finished, she smiled proudly and handed him her hand mirror. Sirius looked beautiful.

“Holy shit Ali, this is amazing! Genuinely! I love it!”, he shouted excitedly and hugged her firmly.

“Oh, it’s nothing”, Alice smiled and watched him get off the bed so that she could take pictures. It had become a ritual of theirs that they would spend one afternoon of the week just gossiping while he let her play with her makeup on his face. 

“Don’t be so humble, this is really great, Pat McGrath great”, he told her just before the flash of her camera blinded his eyes.

“Thank you for participating once again”, Alice chuckled as Sirius grinned like a child. “You know that it’s absolutely my pleasure”, Sirius answered as he watched her put her makeup bag away. 

In the meantime, Remus and James were unpacking Remus’ instruments and put them on their stands. They had become proper friends over the course of the week.

“Yeah, so that’s how Sirius and I met – in a very catholic boarding school”, James concluded as he took a closer look at the bass in his hands.

“Isn’t it strange how almost every kid that went to any sort of private school turns out alternative once they’re grown up?”, Remus mentioned while he put the many books of his on the shelves next to the bed. He already put up all of his posters and put together the bed which consisted of two wooden pallets and a large, queen-sized mattress.

“Well, I mean you’re not wrong, just look at Sirius”, James laughed and leaned out of the already open window.

“Speaking of Sirius, is he ... seeing anyone?”, Remus asked quietly just as he stepped up next to James and lit a cigarette.

“No, not as far as I know – he’s more of the hookup type, I’d say”, James shrugged and cocked his head to the side to look at Remus properly.

“Why’d you ask? You fancy him?”, the brown-haired man grinned and watched the blonde’s cheeks turn red.

“I mean, he’s cute”, Remus said after taking a long drag of his fag.

“Well, I won’t be the one to stop you making a move”, James said and pat Remus’ back.

“I’ll leave you to it, though, Lily will be back from grocery shopping soon and she told me to clean out the fridge”, James groaned and shook his head.

“The things you do for love, eh?”, he added before waddling out of the room. 

Remus spent the rest of the day unpacking. He put his devices on his desk and installed his speakers on either side. Once he could turn everything on, he started to play Donovan’s Sunshine Superman and sat on his bed before he facetimed his friend Dorcas and showed her his new place. 

...

James had asked Sirius to help him clean the fridge seconds before his Lily walked in on them arm wrestling.

“You two are unbelievable”, she sighed and put the bags down.

“Babe, this is about more than just strength – it’s about who will clean the vegetable drawer”, James scoffed and stared at Sirius who was struggling to keep his arm up. Seconds later, James regained his power and thrust Sirius’ hand on the table.

“Ha!”, he laughed triumphantly and got up to kiss his girlfriend. Sirius sighed and shook his hand dramatically before he grabbed a sponge and went to work. 

“You and Remus seem to get along well”, Sirius said absent-mindedly when James leaned against the counter next to him.

“Yeah, and you could, too, if you wouldn’t have such a massive stick up your ass, Pads”, James said after letting out a long sigh.

“I certainly do not, Prongs!”, Sirius shouted and glared at his friend. 

“Mate, you’ve been acting weird ever since he first showed up”, the brown-haired man added and put his hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“I didn’t mean to upset you, but why can’t you just give the guy a chance? He’s really nice once you get to know him”, James whispered as Sirius looked up to him nodded. 

Remus was very attractive to Sirius, even he had caught up to that. But what if the bloke was arrogant in real life and just put up a façade in front of the others? Was Sirius imagining things?

“I know ... I ... I’ll talk to him”, Sirius told him after being lost in thought for a couple of seconds. 


	3. Andante, Andante

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Sirius shared an intimate moment before Sirius chickened out and avoided the other for a week. Fortunately, at the end of the week, they were going to throw a party where he could get drunk and forget about everything. At least that's what Sirius thought was going to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all! we've come to the end of this story! i've had a lot of time writing it and i hope you guys enjoyed it. if you did, i'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments. thank you for reading and being here! you are very appreciated :) until next time!

  
It was two am when Sirius felt his stomach rumbling. Without a second thought, he got up and tip-toed to the kitchen to grab some food. Growing up at Grimmauld place 12, he had a very difficult relationship with food. Due to his parents’ strict upbringing, he was almost conditioned not to eat for multiple days on and as a punishment for his behaviour. Once he had befriended James, things changed. James would bring him extra meals and snacks before it got to the point where his mother would confiscate his backpack and beat him for every single thing she found. Before he ran away, he was severely malnourished. It took him a long time to gain enough muscle mass and weight to look and feel healthy. He couldn’t have done it without James on his side, though. 

Sirius opened the fridge and rummaged for things that looked tasty enough to be put in between two slices of bread. He decided to go with Mozzarella sticks, bell peppers and some butter. While he was making the sandwich, he heard quiet music coming from one of the other rooms. The music was too old to be something Alice would genuinely like, and he was sure that if James and Lily were trying to conceal the fact that they were shagging, they wouldn’t be playing The Clash’s "Combat Rock" - so it had to be Remus who was listening to it. 

Sirius had been contemplating how to approach him for a while now. Whenever he got close to it, he chickened out.

He had to jump over his own shadow at some point anyway so why drag it out, he thought to himself as he turned off the light switch and made his way back to his cave. As he walked past Remus’ room, he leaned against the door so he could eavesdrop on to whatever the other was doing. He wasn’t trying to be creepy, but his curiosity just got the better of him sometimes. Before he knew it, his left hand knocked against the door as he tried to get back into a proper standing position. Fuck. 

“Yeah?”, Remus shouted so the person on the other side of the door could hear. Sirius opened the door and stuck his head through the gap.

“I didn’t mean to bother you, I just enjoyed your music and wanted to tell you that”, Sirius blurted out and felt his limbs go numb. Really? That was what he could have come up with? 

“Thank you, I like that better than any other compliment you could’ve told me, actually”, Remus smiled and brushed his curly fringe out of his face. He was sitting on his bed and must have been playing some game on his laptop while the moon was casting a gorgeous glow on his skin.

“You’re ... welcome?”, Sirius answered after catching himself staring again and was about to leave, regretting his every decision when he heard Remus’ asking him,

“Would you like to stay and chat a bit? We haven’t had the chance yet”. That’s because you’re arrogant and boring and so very beautiful that I can’t focus when I’m around you, Sirius thought and took a bite of his sandwich when he turned around and closed the door with his heel. He let himself fall onto the bed in one swift motion and got comfortable on the other side of it, right next to Remus’ feet. He stretched out his legs and crossed them just as the next song came on.

“This one’s my favourite from the album”, Remus said calmly to break the ice after a moment of them just checking each other out, hoping the other wouldn’t mind.

“Mine is Car Jamming”, Sirius shrugged and continued to eat his food. Remus leaned forward and crossed his legs. He was wearing black joggers and a red, worn-out shirt.

“My eyes are up here”, the blonde grinned as he watched Sirius look him up and down.

“Sorry”, Sirius mumbled and looked out of the window.

The two of them had been sitting on Remus’ large bed and stared out the window, admiring the moon and the stars while whatever music Remus decided to go with playing in the background. The silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable, Sirius actually liked it. Remus reached over to his bedside table and grabbed his Malboros.

“Want one?”, he asked Sirius with his fag already in his mouth.

“Yeah, sure”, Sirius answered and took the cigarette Remus had offered in his hand. He usually smoked a different brand but didn’t mind that it wasn’t his go-to, change can be good, he decided as he watched the blonde take a long drag his cigarette. Something deep inside him wanted to rip that fag out of his mouth and kiss him until they were both breathless, but he knew better than to do so.

“Has Lily told you about the party we’re gonna throw next Saturday?”, Sirius asked absent-mindedly as he looked at the flame coming out of the lighter Remus had just handed him. “No, that’s it all about?”, Remus responded and raised his eyebrows.

“Oh, just a couple of people will be over to drink and dance. We throw parties regularly so it’s definitely something to get used to. Also, you can invite anyone, of course”, the black-haired man concluded before he began to smoke his cigarette. 

After another few minutes of silence coming from both men, the blonde decided to speak so the ice would be broken.

“So, what’s your deal, Sirius?”, Remus asked after had stretched out his left leg that was now resting against Sirius’. Sirius loved physical touch so, to him, it felt as if they had been close friends. As if he had been out in the cold without shelter for days on end and Remus was a warm, heated blanket he just wanted to wrap around him and lose himself in. 

“What do you mean?”, Sirius replied after a few seconds of trying to find an answer. He suddenly felt called out for something he hadn’t even done yet.

“You don’t have to talk about your life if you don’t want to”, Remus calmly told him and put his hand on Sirius’ ankle next to him as reassurance. Apparently, he could tell that Sirius’ brain was working a bit too fast and that he had mentioned a touchy subject.

“No, no, it’s okay”, the black-haired man replied and tried to relax his shoulders.

“I was born here in London, the people who raised me were physically and verbally abusive, so I don’t really call them my family, I went to a catholic boarding school where I met James who introduced me to everything I had been missing out in life, ran away from home at 16, moved in with the Potters and never really looked back”, Sirius concluded and stared at his feet. He rarely ever told anybody about his life and really didn’t want to get judged by the blonde. After a moment of silence, he felt Remus’ grip on his leg tighten slightly. Fuck, that was hotter than Sirius would like to admit. 

“You’re really strong, do you know that?”, Sirius heard Remus say quietly as he found the courage to look him in the eyes.

“I beg your pardon?”, the black-haired man chuckled, being taken back.

“It’s not easy to do what you’ve done and then talk about it as freely as you just did, that takes a lot of courage”, Remus smiled and let his thumb caress the soft skin underneath his finger. He didn’t know it, but that simple gesture meant a lot to Sirius. 

“... Thank you? Nobody’s ever really ... said that”, Sirius mumbled and began to play with the ends of his hair because he didn’t know what else to do. He wasn’t used to being nervous around people so this whole new situation felt weird to him. “It’s my pleasure, you deserve to hear that”, Remus smiled reassuringly. 

“Now that I’ve spilt my guts, it’s your turn - What’s up with the scar?”, Sirius said cockily, trying to get back to his usual ‘I am unreachable’ attitude. Remus replied with a weak smile and took a deep breath. “We have a lot more in common than you might think”, he started before lighting another fag. Sirius assumed that he just felt like it but didn’t know that Remus was just as nervous as he was. 

“My parents are alright people. They’ve been divorced for longer than I can remember but they got along well, even as co-parents. My dad moved to Edinburgh when I was seven, so I didn’t see him much growing up”, he continued and lifted his leg over Sirius’, so that their feet were slightly entangled. Sirius didn’t mind at all. 

“Once he had left, my mum started dating this guy called Fenrir - he was a real pain in the ass. I hated him from the second he showed up at our doorstep. Mum kept telling me to give him a chance, but I knew that something was off, I just didn’t know what. When I was about eight, he came home while he was shit-faced and beat the living hell out of my mother. As you can imagine, my naive boy brain thought that I could deal with him and tried to stop him but ultimately made it worse. Fenrir took the empty bottle of wine he had brought with him, smashed it against one of the cupboards and then attacked me with all the strength left in his body. When he was finished, enough blood had left my body so that I was left unconscious. Our neighbour overheard screaming and came over to find the two of us on the floor and called the ambulance”, he added before he took a big drag of his cigarette.

“Where was he? Where’d he go?”, Sirius asked quietly, moving closer to Remus and did the same thing on the blonde’s ankle as he did to his. Maybe it would comfort him as much as it had comforted Sirius. 

“Well, I really don’t know where he went that night. I just know that my mum made me swear that I would tell the police nothing. I couldn’t lie to her, so I kept my mouth shut. There wasn’t really an investigation because she was too embarrassed, I think - once we were back home, she just let him back into our lives as if nothing happened! I was fucking fuming, as you can imagine”, Remus almost shouted but could contain himself. He didn’t want to scare Sirius with his anger towards that asshole.

“They stayed together until he died when I was 15, the bloke had a heart attack”, he chuckled and quickly corrected himself, “I know, I shouldn’t laugh, but he had it coming, the way that bastard was eating literal shit and drank his own body weight in liquor ... Anyway, his constant abuse left scars on my entire body that I’ll never get rid off, but at least children think they’re cool. They don’t need to know the truth”, he concluded and combed through his hair. How was he so calm?

“If Fenrir was still around, I’d kill him myself”, Sirius said absent-mindedly and moved to the other side of the bed so that they were next to each other. While he was doing so, Remus laid down and watched Sirius cross his legs so that he wouldn’t take up more space than he needed to. 

His eyes roamed over his face and settled on the scar that reached across the bridge of his nose. It was pink in daylight but shone in a beautiful silver-blue as the moonlight reached it.

“You can touch it, I don’t mind”, Remus whispered and smiled softly. Sirius’ heart skipped a beat as he looked in Remus’ kind, warm eyes. He couldn’t believe that he had to go through that. The Scot had seen the reluctance in Sirius’ eyes, so he took his hand at the wrist and guided it to his face.

Sirius let his fingers trace along the pink lines and felt Remus’ warm breath against his hand. He caressed the skin around the scars, making sure to inspect every little millimetre as Remus relaxed underneath his touch.

“Tell me when to stop, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable”, Sirius whispered so quietly that if anybody would stand next to them, they wouldn’t be able to hear it.

“I can promise you that I like your touch - it’s quite the opposite of uncomfortable, actually”, Remus answered and looked into Sirius’ eyes again. 

Sirius’ hand wandered to his cheek and cautiously cupped his jaw. Their faces were mere centimetres away from each other. Remus’ warm breath felt irresistible to Sirius. He found himself staring into the other man’s eyes, getting lost in the sea of their brown depth. He wanted to kiss him so badly, to feel his lips against his, to taste him, to make him feel amazing. Sirius opened his mouth to say something but was stopped by Remus holding him by the neck and pressing his lips against his own. Sirius could’ve died then and there. He had never been kissed so gently and carefully before. He never wanted the moment to stop. Remus’ fingers found their way to the back of the other man’s head and held him carefully. 

Their connection was otherworldly. Sirius felt as if Remus had always been there. He was mad at himself for thinking of him as someone less than them, someone who might try to hurt them and their friendship. How obnoxious of him! Not once in his life had he loved kissing anybody as much as at that moment. Remus’ tongue slid along his bottom lip, asking for permission to deepen the kiss without using any words. Sirius responded by smiling against his mouth and letting their tongues explore the other’s mouth. At that point he held Remus’ head in both of his hands, moving his thumb along his cheeks every other second. He tasted like cigarettes and peppermint. Never could his former self imagine sharing such an intimate moment with anybody. He loved it.

When they pulled apart, both of them were out of breath. They must have kissed for a few minutes but to Sirius, it felt as if it had been days since he closed his eyes to capture everything that was happening.

All of a sudden, he realised what going on. Sirius couldn’t like the guy! Sirius was too broken to be interested in anybody. That’s why he only did hookups – he loved the attention and validation but couldn’t stick around long enough to end up falling for anybody. Remus raised his eyebrow as he watched Sirius’ face become paler and paler by the second.

“Are you okay?”, he asked and put his hand on Sirius’ leg as support.

“No, I ... I should go, this was a mistake”, Sirius stuttered and got off the bed.

“Thanks ... uh ... for the cigarette”, he mumbled as he rushed out of the room and left the clueless Remus sitting on his bed by himself, unsure what he did wrong with his dick being semi-hard in his trousers. 

Once Sirius reached his room, he slammed the door and locked it so that nobody could enter.

“Fuck”, he whispered to himself and tried to distract himself by staring at the giant Marc Bolan poster in front of his bed.

“What the fuck was I thinking just making out with this guy”, he added and looked at his hair at the reflection of his phone screen. Remus didn’t want to kiss him, he just pitied him, Sirius was sure of it. He just wanted to make him feel good. That must have been it. As he laid down on his bed, he didn’t set any of his alarms for the next day and put on a random podcast that would occupy his brain long enough for him not to form any thoughts as he drifted off to sleep. 

...

It was around noon when he first woke up. He couldn’t be bothered to get dressed to go for a piss, so he waddled through the hallway in his underwear, hoping nobody was going to catch him.

“Good morning, loverboy”, he heard someone say as he entered the bathroom and found James brushing his teeth. “Fuck off”, Sirius groaned as he walked to the other side of the room to do his business.

“I heard you sneak out of someone’s room”, James said without any hint of an opinion as he spat out the toothpaste. The two of them were close enough that being in the same room as the other while one was peeing stopped being a problem at age 14.

“It wasn’t like that, we just kissed”, Sirius said after not answering for several seconds. “Look at you getting it on! Are you sure that there wasn’t any heavy petting involved?”, his friend laughed and made Sirius blush.

“No, actually not – we told each other our life stories and kissed but I think that the kiss’ sole purpose was to make me feel okay about myself, so I left”, Sirius answered and shook his head. It was the best kiss he’s ever had but it was, of course, too good to be true.

“Oh, Jesus fucking Christ Pads, what if he was just interested in you? Maybe he wanted to snog you because he liked you?”, James suggested as he brushed his hair, giving his curls no chance to be present.

“I don’t know Prongsie, I don’t think so”, Sirius sighed before he leaned down to drink some of the tab water. James patted his back before he left the room. Just before he closed the door behind him, he looked at his friend and said, “Pads, stubborn nuts like you are the hardest to crack”. What was that supposed to mean? 

He didn’t see Remus much that day. In fact, he didn’t see Remus much that day because he avoided Remus at every cost. He didn’t want things to be more awkward than they already were. To get his mind off things, he opened his laptop and started working on the Dalì word file he had been neglecting. Over the course of the week, he let himself drown in his studies and music, avoiding everything but his course work. He showed up to breakfast and dinner, chatted with Lily whenever he got himself something to drink because she loved to work from the kitchen and still sent Alice memes on Instagram but tried not to look at Remus whenever he was around. He didn’t dare to glance up at him when they sat across each other at the dinner table and always made sure to sit on the other side of the couch on their movie nights. Sirius even didn’t attend their usual game nights because he didn’t want to get confronted by Remus. 

On Thursday he decided that he needed to get out of the flat. Sirius put on his motorbike attire and snuck out of the apartment, hoping that nobody noticed that he was gone. Once he got onto his bike, the entire world became a blur around him. Now it was just him and his machine. Sirius drove through London and explored as many of the closest districts as he could. The cold air felt amazing against the light, warm leather that covered his body. He didn’t keep track of time but must have been gone for a while before he yawned for the first time. When checked his phone to see what time it was he rolled his eyes at the fact that it was one in the morning. 

Sirius drove for another hour before it was time to go back. London was quiet. It was his favourite time of the day. 

Once he was back home, he carefully parked his bike and took off his helmet as he entered the building. When he entered the elevator, he pulled down the zipper of his jacket and combed through his long hair. He forgot to put it in a braid before he left and knew that he had to brush it properly once he would be in his bedroom.

When he exited the elevator and unlocked their front door, he saw that somebody had forgotten to turn off the light in the kitchen.

“Don’t they know how expensive our bills are already?”, he mumbled as he took off his shoes and went to turn off the light. To his surprise and shock, he found Remus standing next to the fridge, munching on some muesli with yoghurt. He was wearing his pyjama bottoms and looked incredibly lovable. Sirius had to stop his thoughts. 

“Uh, sorry, I thought nobody was up”, Sirius said quietly and was about to leave again when Remus grabbed him by the hand.

“No, please, stay, let me apologise”, Remus whispered and looked Sirius in the eyes.

“I didn’t mean to upset you”, he continued and stopped to stand in front of him.

“I ... I’m gotta go to bed”, Sirius mumbled before he let himself be drawn in by Remus’ warmth, even if he wanted nothing more but to straddle him and hold onto him until they wouldn’t remember anything anymore. 

He didn't wait for a response but instead rushed into his room and slid down his door. How did he always embarrass himself like that? Fuck! 

...

It had been an exhausting day for all of them and were in need of some good intoxication. James and Alice bought the alcohol and snacks while Remus, Lily and Sirius cleaned up the flat and even decorated it a bit once they were finished. Sirius avoided Remus’ eyes every time he looked into his direction, thus trying to ignore the gigantic elephant in the room. Lily shot him a few glances whenever Remus asked him something and he gave answers that were unnecessary but tried his best to ignore them. While he was doing his own thing, the other two had a lively conversation and laughed at each other’s jokes. 

“Please, Siri, for the greater good of our friendship, get a grip”, Lily whispered once they were finished and went through the rooms to check if they forgot something.

“I don’t want to start something with someone who just pities me”, he sighed and rubbed his eyes.

“Let’s continue this chat when I’m completely hammered and can’t feel my body anymore, alright?”, Sirius laughed before their joined walk came to an end. 

Lily nodded and gave him a big hug.

“Trust your heart for once – not everyone is your enemy”, she told him as a stand-alone piece of advice before she walked into her bedroom that she primarily used for studying and shut the door behind her. Was she right about what she said?

...

At nine pm he found himself standing in front of the mirror that he had hooked onto his wall. Sirius was wearing a pair of skin-tight black skinny jeans and a red, flowy blouse (he had stolen from Lily) which he tucked into the front of the trousers. Alice helped him put on some eyeliner and even a bit of lip gloss that was barely noticeable to the heterosexual eye. That’s one hell of an outfit”, he thought to himself while he applied his cologne. The music from the living room was loud enough to be heard throughout the entire flat.

As he stepped out of his room to greet their guests, he recognised many familiar faces. At least 30 people had already arrived. Sirius walked to the fridge, grabbed the strongest alcohol he could find, poured himself a drink and began to greet everyone in his reach. Friends from Uni, school, work and sports teams were scattered throughout every room. 

When he walked into the living room, he saw a couple of people he didn’t know. Being the extroverted man he was, he immediately walked up to them and introduced himself.

“Hey! I’m Sirius, thank you for coming! May I ask who you guys are?”, he smiled and kissed the back of their hands.

“We’re Mary and Marlene, Remus’ best friends”, the shorter girl answered and grinned at Sirius. Did he tell them about him? Fuck! He just nodded and chatted with them about where they lived and how long they had known Remus before excused himself and he wandered to the next people.

Later in the evening he was dancing to Britney Spears in their living room and moved his hips along to the beat of the song. He had been drinking steadily for a while now and loved the buzz he had going on. Alice was twerking in front of him, grinding against his crotch and he pretended to slap her butt as they both started to laugh loudly.

“I love you”, she shouted so that he could hear her clearly once she was back in a standing position and kissed his cheek quickly.

“I love you more and you know it, Janet”, Sirius replied and hugged her tightly, referring to their first meeting where they watched The Rocky Horror Picture show. 

At three in the morning, he stumbled into the crowded kitchen and opened the fridge to get a drink once again. Most of the beers had already been drunk so the only thing he could find was a half-empty bottle of wine. He had been drinking anything but that all night so he didn’t see why he shouldn’t just go for it. Sirius grabbed the bottle by its neck and walked over to the counter so that he could fill his glass with it. At second thought, he decided to ditch the glass and just drink from the bottle. Who was there to stop him? Exactly, nobody. 

“I’m tired of playing your games”, he heard a deep voice coming from behind him. He recognised the voice. It was the same person whose eyes he lost himself in days before. It belonged to the only person he was able to think about ever since they entered his life.

“Remus I ... I’m sorry, this has been a misunderstanding, I think”, Sirius began to say as he turned around. Remus was practically towering over him, wearing his usual brown sweater and green trousers but Sirius couldn’t focus on his clothes because of how drawn he was to his eyes. Remus looked tired. He probably hadn’t slept much in the last few days. Was that because of Sirius? No, it couldn’t be.

“Please stop running away from me”, Remus breathed and put his drink down next to them.

“What did I do to upset you? Did I touch you where you didn’t want to be touched? Please, tell me, our whatever we are can’t start off like this”, the blonde concluded and looked at Sirius sternly. He must have been deadly serious. 

“You ... the kiss was great, really great, actually, but I didn’t want you to kiss me because you felt sorry for me”, Sirius answered after a few seconds had gone by.

“You’re really attractive and I didn’t want to be interested in someone who just gave me the attention I wanted because I was emotional that one time”, he continued, hearing his voice become more and more time quiet with each word he spoke. 

As if Sirius was in a dream, he felt himself getting pushed against the wall behind them and gasped as he felt Remus’ breath against his neck.

“I loved kissing you, Sirius”, Remus mumbled, his lips being mere millimetres away from Sirius’ skin.

“I kissed you because I wanted to, not because I felt sorry for you”, Sirius heard him say as Remus raised his head so they would be looking at each other again. 

Remus’ left hand was pressed against the wall next to Sirius’ head while his right was rested on his shoulder. Sirius felt as if he was about to fly. As if he was a wanderer who had been crossing the Sahara and was about to die of thirst and Remus was the large swimming pool filled to the brim with distilled water. His hands found their way to Remus’ neck and chest before he licked his lips seductively.

“What are you waiting for?”, Sirius grinned.

“Come and get it, tiger”, he added but before he could finish his sentence, Remus had shut him up by pressing his lips against Sirius’. This kiss was different than the one they shared before. The first was filled with trust and serenity while the second was a combination of lust, vigour and need.

“Fuck”, Sirius moaned against the other man’s lips and moved his legs apart so that Remus could get even closer. Remus picked him up with one swift motion and carried him to the counter where he sat him down. His lips kissed down to Sirius’ neck and sucked on it hungrily while Sirius spread his legs and hooked them around Remus’ waist. The blonde was as physically close as he had ever been to the other man and enjoyed it tremendously. Sirius let his hands travel up to hold onto Remus’ jaw, gently tugging on the hair his fingers could reach and shuddered as Remus moaned against his skin. He was sure that once he’d wake up the next day, his throat would be covered in large, purple bruises but he genuinely couldn’t care less. 

“Want to take this somewhere else?”, Sirius asked in between kisses and flexed his leg muscles so that the blonde would be even closer. His cock grew so quick that he felt dizzy for a few seconds. While the blurry haze surrounded them, he heard Remus moan,

“I thought you’d never ask”. Sirius didn’t need to be told twice. He hopped off the counter and took Remus by the hand to guide him to his bedroom. The thoughts of what was about to happen occupied his mind to such an extent that he didn’t realise what was going on around them. 

“I KNEW IT! YOU WERE A FUCKING FAGGOT ALL ALONG!”, he heard someone familiar scream from the other side of the hallway. Before he could turn his head to the side, Remus jumped in front of him and received a punch in the face. What the fuck was going on?!

Remus stayed as straight sturdy as a wall when Sirius saw who stood in front of them. It was the drunk, ugly, rat looking ex-roommate who he last saw when James kicked him out of the flat.

“You’re disgusting, Sirius! Your parents were right, Regulus is the better son!”, Peter laughed and stumbled closer to them. Sirius’ blood was boiling. This fucking monkey of a person had the audacity to insult him at HIS party in front of HIS guests! Just when Sirius was getting ready to push Remus aside and tackle the swine, Remus picked Peter up by his collar and lifted him in the air, making him choke for a second. 

“You little disgusting excuse of a man think you can insult him like that?”, Remus laughed and watched Peter squirm.

“Well, you’re wrong”, he said quickly before slapping his cheek as hard as he could.

“That’s for attacking me”, the blonde grinned and slapped the other side of his face just as hard.

“That’s for insulting Sirius”, he continued and let go of Peter, who was completely disoriented by that point. Remus drew back his arm and finished the other man off by uppercutting him with the best of his abilities.

“Now get the fuck out of our flat or you’ll regret ever thinking about Sirius”, Remus shouted, pushing Peter back until they reached the front door. Peter was a mess and looked around for assurance, but nobody noticed him. Everyone was occupied having fun and minding their own business.

“FUCK YOU”, Peter shouted as he stumbled out of the door and almost tripped over his own feet. “You wish”, Remus laughed whole-heartedly and shut the door in front of him. 

Sirius couldn’t believe his eyes. Someone who didn’t know him stood up for him. Was this a dream? Was this staged? He didn’t know what to say. When Remus walked back, Sirius swung his arms around the blonde’s neck and kissed him passionately.

“Let me know if he bothers you again”, he whispered against Sirius’ lips and sent shivers down his spine by doing so.

“I need to suck your cock right now”, Sirius responded and heard Remus moan in anticipation. “You tease”, Remus laughed and shoved the other man in his bedroom, locking the door behind him. 

“Thank you for all that”, Sirius whispered against Remus’ lips as he picked him up again so that he could carry him to the bed.

“You would have done the same for me”, Remus smiled softly and put him down carefully. As he was about to take off his trousers, Sirius stopped him by putting his hands on the larger man's.

“This is my thank you for kicking Peter out”, Sirius grinned and undid his belt.

“You’re beautiful, Sirius”, Remus smiled and let his finger run through the smaller man’s hair as he was busy undoing his buttons. After a couple of seconds of Remus admiring Sirius and Sirius struggling to get the other’s trousers off, he succeeded and palmed the blonde’s cock through the fabric of his underwear. Remus let out a big sigh and shook his head.

“You’ve been driving me insane all week”, he said and held back a groan when Sirius kissed his penis through his pants before he pulled those down too. 

“Tell me about it”, Sirius smiled innocently before he licked along Remus’ length. It had been years since he held a dick as large as Remus’ in his hand.

“When you left, I jerked my dick so hard that I thought it might will break off”, he laughed but gasped once Sirius had wrapped his tongue around the tip of his head and licked it as if it were a lollipop. The alcohol in their bodies made them more sensitive and Remus tried his hardest not to scream once Sirius took his entire length in his mouth. He definitely knew what he was doing. 

Sirius’ gag reflex got the better of him and made his throat close up which made Remus whimper. Knowing that he could handle it, Sirius rested his hands on Remus' hips and moved them forward.

“You sure?”, the blonde panted and watched the other man nod. Remus then began to move his cock in and out of Sirius’ mouth, almost fainting at the vacuum that Sirius created in his mouth. It was so wet and tight that he couldn’t wait to feel what his ass felt like. Only seconds later he was moving faster and stopped himself from being silent. With each moan he let out, Sirius’ dick grew harder. It was so painful but he wanted it to last forever. 

“Let me eat your ass”, Remus decided and pulled his cock out of Sirius’ mouth with a loud popping sound. Sirius undressed quickly, throwing his top to the other side of the room and pulled his trousers down, letting Remus take them off completely.

“I want you on your knees”, the blonde demanded and grabbed the lube from his bedside table. Sirius had gotten comfortable by resting his head on Remus’ pillow, taking in his scent. It was so musty and wood-like that he felt himself getting lost in the smell.

“Your head-game is insane, I was about to cum”, Remus moaned against Sirius’ hole and made the man shiver. As his tongue licked around Sirius’ entrance, his hand reached between his legs to jerk the black-haired man’s cock lazily. Sirius rolled his eyes to the back of his head and let out a long, satisfied groan.

Remus’ tongue dipped into his hole and began to explore it while simultaneously stretching it out. While he did so, Sirius whimpered and felt his cock twitch in Remus’ hand.

“Oh J-Judas it feels amazing”, he moaned and arched his back so that Remus’ tongue would get in deeper. The blonde broadened his tongue and began to lick from his entrance to his balls and smiled when Sirius gasped. 

Sirius was in such pure bliss that he didn’t realise that Remus entered his hole with his middle finger. It felt amazing. Remus was very good at what he was doing because once he let his second finger slide in, they brushed against his prostate instantly.

“P-Please”, Sirius whimpered and looked over his shoulder to see the god of a man finger his ass.

“Please what, baby? Use your words”, the blonde grinned and cocked his head to the side playfully.

“Please fuck me”, the black-haired man begged and felt the other’s finger leave his body. “There’s nothing I’d rather do”, Sirius heard the other say lovingly and turned around. 

“I want to see your face when you cum in me”, Sirius grinned and blew Remus a kiss as he watched him coat his cock with lube.

“Don’t say that again or I will come right now”, Remus laughed and leaned down to kiss his lover hungrily. It was a very teethy kiss, but they didn’t mind. Remus aligned himself in front of Sirius’ hole and rested his tip against it.

“Are you sure about this?”, he asked before he covered Sirius’ face with kisses.

How could he be cute even and make Sirius feel wanted and appreciated when he was about to fuck him? 

“More than I’ve ever been about anything in my life”, Sirius answered and tried to ignore the butterflies racing in his stomach. The genuine smile on Remus’ face didn’t help him. He closed his eyes and relaxed all of his muscles. Sirius was ready for him. The blonde made sure to kiss him throughout the entire process of entering his body. 

Even though it hurt a bit, Sirius loved it more than anything because Remus showered him with “you feel amazing” and “fuck, so fucking good”‘s. Once Remus was fully inside of him, he stopped moving to check up on him.

“You’re so beautiful”, Sirius heard him whisper and pulled him up for a gentle kiss.

“I don’t deserve this”, he replied and caressed Remus’ cheek.

“Believe me, you deserve the entire world and so much more”, Remus said and Sirius could hear in his voice that he meant it. 

“You can move, I’m okay”, Sirius said after they had been making out for a few minutes, almost forgetting that they were having sex. 

Remus didn’t need to be told twice. He began to move his hips back and forth, pushing his cock in and out of Sirius, who was loving every second of it. Once they got comfortable, Remus started to pick up the pace and soon found himself thrusting himself into his lover’s body.

“So-So fucking tight”, he gasped breathlessly and rested his head on Sirius’ chest.

“Please, harder”, Sirius whimpered and crossed his legs behind Remus’ back so that he would go even deeper.

Their sweaty bodies moved in sync and somehow it felt right. It felt as if they were supposed to do it. As if their bodies were made to rock against each other. As if giving each other pleasure was their sole purpose.

Sirius felt as if lightning had struck him when he felt that Remus’ fingers wrapped around his cock and jerked it at the same speed he was fucking into him. 

“R-Remus, I’m so close”, he moaned and arched his back when he felt his prostate being stimulated over and over again.

“Come for me, moan my name, Sirius”, the blonde smiled and leaned down to kiss his lips again.

“Come for me, love”, Remus whispered into his ear, thus sending him over the edge. He came all over Remus’ hand and if he wasn’t stimulated enough, watching the blonde lick his semen off his fingers made him feel lightheaded.

Only moments later Remus emptied his load deep inside of him and let himself fall on top of Sirius. “You amaze me”, he sighed as he kissed every part of Sirius he could reach with his lips. 

“I never told you how beautiful I think your scars are”, Sirius whispered once the post-orgasm clarity hit him.

“Sorry?”, Remus asked and look up at his lover while he climbed off Sirius to open up the window.

“I said that I think your scars are very beautiful, especially in the moonlight”, Sirius admitted and watched the blonde lean out of it, letting the cold air cool his body down.

“Are they the only beautiful thing about me?”, the man joked as he turned around to face him.

“You know that they're not, I just wanted to tell you because it’s true”, he blushed and leaned back. Remus’ bed was a lot more comfortable than his own. He loved it there.

"Thank you, I don't get that often", Remus answered after a while.

While Sirius was exploring the softness of Remus' bed, the blonde had made his way back to the bed and cuddled up to Sirius, wrapped him in his arms and kissed him softly. This was new to Sirius. He had never cuddled with anyone but James until that very night. 

They were too exhausted to talk about anything so instead, they just held each other. 

"Goodnight, Sirius", Remus yawned and kissed the other man one more time before he closed his eyes and rested his head on Sirius' chest. Sirius would have never imagined that he'd ever hold anybody in his arms, but it only felt normal to him when it came to Remus. The blonde's hair smelled like Lily's coconut shampoo - he would know, he used it whenever he was out of his.

"Good night", he whispered, hearing Remus snore peacefully before closing his own eyes and drifting off to sleep. 

...

When he woke up, Remus was still in the same bed they had been spent the night in.

"Good morning", he yawned and watched his lover's chest rise and fall steadily. "Morning", Remus whispered and rubbed his eyes.

“What time is it?”, Sirius asked and looked across the room. It was the first time he actually got to take in everything that was surrounding him. There were so many instruments hung on the wall, some he couldn’t even recognise.

“Almost noon”, he heard the other man say before he sat up. This is usually where they would part- This is where the dream would end. He had to face the truth. Even the best things must come to an end. 

“Would you like to go and have breakfast with me? I mean, we can try and whip up something, but I’m a sucker for some pancakes and fried eggs from the small restaurant two blocks down”, Remus suggested and leaned over to kiss his lover. What was going on?

“Do you mean that?”, Sirius frowned, longing for the other man’s lips the second they left his.

“Of course I do! I wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise!”, the blonde smiled and cupped Sirius’ cheek.

“And I’m not saying that because I want to be kind. I want to spend some time with you and get to know you properly. So how about it?”

Sirius responded by straddling him and kissing him mercilessly, making Remus giggle like a child.

“I would like that”, he whispered and looked down at the curly-haired Scot.

“But first, we have some other business to take care off”, Sirius added and watched Remus’ eyebrows frown in confusion before he let his fingers travel down the other's chest. The frown disappeared just as quickly as it appeared and turned into a very positively surprised expression.

“I like your idea of a good morning”, Remus laughed quietly and pulled Sirius’ head down so he could kiss him again.

Maybe James and Lily were right. Opening up to other people didn’t seem so bad all of a sudden. Maybe he was ready to let Remus enter the mess he called life. Maybe, just maybe, he’d even end up liking it. He wasn’t sure about that part, but he was willing to find out. 


End file.
